True Religion

With the Lenten season looming, I thought long and hard about what I would want to give up.  Now, mind you, I am not a baptised Catholic, but, because my children are, I thought that I too would follow in the tradition to be supportive.  What was the one thing that I could not live without?  Beer? TV? Facebook? My cell phone?  All good choices, but, alas, my true vice was shopping!  I mean, I am a woman, who prays for a sale, coupon, closer parking space etc. etc. etc and have likend shopping to sex.  This had to be the one thing I would give up in the name of Our Lord.  Shudder (envision chills running through my designer clad body.)  So, when Ash Wednesday arrived, I bravely announced to the world (on facebook) that I, Christine Wagner, was going to fore go all forms of retail therapy. I must confess, that I reasoned this sacrifice by limiting it to only purchasing new clothing, jewelry, purses, shoes etc. for myself.  OMG!!  Grocery shopping and household items didn't count.  But lets face it, buying toilet paper and toothpaste wasn't my heroin.  It wasn't until days later that I looked at the calendar and realized that I had just entered a self impossed purgatory for 5 weeks.  I just knew I was going to fail.  What was I thinking?  Can you say Dead Man Walking?  The first few days, were hell.  Sadly, the grocery store offered little of the things I coveted, but did find myself, in desperation,  perusing the clothing at Lucky and Walgreens. The withdrawls were merciless.  My heart sunk as I steered my car past Ross, avoided the Macy's and purposely stopped reading the Sunday ads, scared to death of a coupon that might send me into a blurry tizzy.  Sigh (wiping tear from the corner of my eye.)  But, as I dropped down into the belly of the beast and faced my demons head on, something strange began to happen.  I found my resolve, the will to say no (my spine.)  I was slowly able to re-enter the mall and my local retailers without feeling the faint head rush and the pitter patter of my heart.  Can you believe it, I actually felt guilty when looking at the shoes!  With all of the free time on my hands, I decided to clean out my closet and drawers.  I found myself finding and wearing things that I had forgotten I purchased previously, some with tags still on them (how sad.)  It was like a new wardrobe.  Believe it or not, I actually recieved compliments on my new found items.  I felt stronger and had a new sense of purpose.  So, this act of denying myself truly turned into a self awakening.  What I learned was that I do actually posses self control, I do overspend and I will always want, but do not need.  So, on the eve of Easter upon me....I am once again looking forward to the act of swiping my credit card at the nearest local high end retailer...hopefully a little stronger, wiser and with some restraint.