An Ode to Bread

I just started a new diet and bread is the enemy.  It's on the list, but is so high in points that it doesn't really fit into a daily menu.  (sad face)  The thought of cutting "good" bread out of my diet makes me queasy at the knees.  As a true Bay Area girl knows, when I say good bread, I am talking about good old fashioned San Francisco sour dough.  The crunchy, airy, sour goodness of a freshly made loaf.  Nothing beats the taste of a warm slice of sourdough with melted butter or a deli sandwich on a sourdough roll.  If you don't believe me, just look around the next time you are at a restaurant and the bread comes to the table.  Everybody loves bread!!  Sigh, I will miss you Boudin, Artisan, Santa Cruz Baking Co. and Colombo.  I feel like a crack addict when I think of bread.  I love the smell, the taste, the crunch of the crust and the softness of the center.  I hope I can make it!  Bread is love and welcoming.  They way it makes the house smell when baking or breaking bread with friends.  Ahhhhh....<3  While I don't think I would sell my body for a nice Puglise, I would gladly give up all other carbs.  Adios rice, risotto, bagels, tortillas, cakes and cookies.   My new diet encourages "other" breads.  You know, rice cakes, pita pockets and those Orowheat thin things.  Low carb, fat free, seedy brown bread, Yuck!  I know, I know, they are good and I do like those.  But they are not real bread!  So, alas, I will have to eat you in moderation sour dough.  Sneak you in back alleys, hide in the closet and late at night, when no one is looking, like a drug addict.  I wonder if I can get a pic line straight to a vein?  Bread.....Oh Bread....how I love thee! 

Happy Valentines Day

Tomorrow is Valentines Day, the most romantic day of them all.  People complain about the commercialism of Christmas and then fall hook, line and sinker for the cupid stuff.  All of the TV shows are about love.  The commercials are all about jewelery.  Every store is decked out with candies and flowers. It is a virtual sea of red and pink.  Today I went to the store to pick up my kids a heart box of candy and the place was packed.  Oh, it was so sad.  The aisles were lined with hundreds of men, all mesmerized by the Valentine cards.  You could smell the desperation and see the panic stricken faces as they painstakingly read each card for the perfect phrase.  Some of them holding multiple boxes of sweets and flowers...and picking through the stuffed animals.  Shaking my head, I just felt so sorry for them.  Because, as women, we know, that it isn't the actual card or present, it is the effort that was put into the gesture.  We get pissed when forgotten, but are always happy to be acknowledged, especially on such a pressure cooker holiday.  I walked up to the register with my heart boxes in hand and sighed and thought to myself, I am happy about one thing.  Did you know that the heart actually is shaped like a fist?  So, thank goodness the holiday industry changed the symbol to the heart shaped figure that we all know and love, because, lets face it, "I Fist You" brings up all kinds of visuals that are just plain disturbing.   So on this note, I wish you all a wonderful Monday filled with x's and o's.   Muahhh!!!  (P.S. I love, love, love the new watch my hubby bought me for V-day:)   Thanks Honey!

Butt Naked

I have been a little stressed lately and was trying to think of some way to relax when I remembered, recently, on the Dr. Oz Show, there was a woman who cleans her house naked.  Wow!  She said this with a giggle and also stated that this was a huge stress reliever for her.  Really?  I mean, she looked really relaxed, but I just can't imagine.  OK, so here I am....alone....tons of chores to do.  I am going to give this method a whirl.  Whoo hoo, I can do this.  Ok, I am going to clean.  I am ready!!!!!!!!!!!!  Brrrr and I feel like a complete fool!!!  Getting dressed again.  Why can't I just take off my clothes and do my chores?  Because, for one, it is February and it is cold!  Two, what if someone comes to the door?  Three, I just can't stop laughing.  But, this whole thing has got me thinking....Hmmm. What will I actually do fully unclothed?  The answer......Not a whole lot!  So far I have showering on my list.  I mean, come on!  I won't even try on bathing suits under fluorescent lighting.  Curious though, I google what people will do naked.  Can you believe it?  There are lots of things that people do in the buff, besides sex and your average nude beach.   People have brunch naked.  Personally, I would have a hard time (no pun intended) eating eggs and bacon next to someone who looks like my Uncle Joe and is naked.  There are naked yoga classes, I know, eww, but I understand there is a "bring your own mat rule", thank god!   There are naked parties on all college campuses and why not, they are young and drunk.  And, believe it or not....naked stand up comedy, I am already laughing!   So, if all of these people can be in actual public butt naked, then I should be able to do a few dishes and a couple of loads of laundry, right?  NOT, but I am less stressed now.  Happy Tuesday :)

Nutted up by 8:00 AM

Warm and cozy....laying in bed....I know what is to come and I just want to enjoy some peace a little longer, before I turn into the raving morning lunatic that I become every day.....Here is a snip of my every morning :)

6:00am:  Alarm goes off...I reach over and hit the snooze button, I know that my clock is 15 minutes fast and it is really 5:45...I have some time.
6:15am:  I lay here thinking, running all of the things I have to do today through my head....Why is the cat sitting on my head?
6:21am:  Coffee!!  I wander into the kitchen and start the coffee.  Mmm the smell of Hawaiian hazelnut brings me to life.
6:25am:  Cup in hand, I wake the kids...."Good Morning" I say bright and cheery..."time to wake up!"  Grunts from both rooms.
6:33am:  No sounds....roust the kids again...."Time to get up"  now at least I get some acknowledgement.
6:40am:  Off to the kitchen to make breakfast....
6:43am:  Deliver bowls of cereal to each kid....both of whom are still laying in bed.  "Get up!"
7:00am:  second cup of coffee...make lunches
7:10am:  Kids are up...I yell "NOW, it is 7:10 you better be getting ready."
7:15am:  I assume they are getting ready (big mistake)
7:23am:  "It's 7:30"  I lie...hoping to hurry them up.
7:30am:  "Ok, now it is really 7:30!!" I yell out like some crazy alarm clock...because I now see that even though they are up, they are not dressed.....
7:35am:  "7:35!" 
7:37am:  "7:37!"  I am now at irritation mode
7:38am:  "Ok...I am getting in the car"  I threaten
7:40am:  I am sitting in the idling car, alone...tapping fingers on steering wheel..waiting....
7:43am:  still waiting, rev engine
7:45am:  Kennedy wanders out...."Mom, I think it is a half day, I don't need the lunch"   groan...."It's cold in here" (she says this every morning...I could set my watch by this statement.
7:47am:  Cole comes out....I ask.."Do you have your lunch?"  "No"....he goes back into the house, I am not even sure why I asked because I already know the answer.
7:50am:  We are finally off..!(does it really take 3 minutes to go back in the house and get an already packed lunch?  Yes...driving down the street, Kennedy rifles through my purse.."What are you looking for?" I ask...."Gum, I didn't have time to brush my teeth"  What?????  Cole then holds out his hand for gum as well......Really?
7:52am:  drop off Cole....I tell him to hurry because he has exactly 8 minutes to get across campus.....worms move faster.
7:53am:  (Cue moaning, complaining and heavy sighs here)as Kennedy complains...."I am late" "late again" "I will have to go through the office"  this goes on for the entire drive, every morning....as if she had nothing to do with the mornings events.
7:59am:  Pull up to school and someone is blocking the keep clear area to pull into the parking lot....Now cue my bitching...LOL
8:02am:  Sigh....they are off and this has been the longest two hours of my day.  No wonder I am crazy!

Noon Time Fantasy

I had to leave work early today, because I needed to go home to meet the cable guy.  Actually, we are in an emergency status.  We are having guests this weekend to watch the Super Bowl and one of our t.v.'s  isn't cooperating.  So, here I sit....waiting...When I called the cable company they gave me an appointment between 1pm and 3pm.  I guess cooling my heels for two hours is better than some appointment windows I have been given.  The last time I had a repair man over, I had an 8 hour window.  Geeeshh, like I have nothing better to do.  Some of these places make you wait so long that you are almost,  and I am using that word lightly, grateful when they finally do arrive.  But enough griping, what I am really hoping for, besides my corrected t.v. issue, is that my cable repair guy is HOT!  I know, I am a married woman.  But, not a dead woman!  Is it too much to ask for?  I think some of these companies should only hire hot guys to do their service work.  It only seems fair.  I wait for hours on end....they produce a Chippendale in a work belt to ease my trouble...  I always wish for the hot guy, but instead, get the grumpy, frumpy, lumpy repair guy.  You know, the one who looks like the latest serial killer on top of the F.B.I's most wanted list.   Most of the time I am thinking (picture thought bubble here)  "I really want my refrigerator repaired, but I am not sure I want to give up my life for ice cubes"  So as I type this .... I am hoping for tall, lean, muscular....LOL  Basically Mark Wahlberg in a tool belt...shirt is optional  :)